A sketch from the much underrated brit comedy Smack the Pony.
As I have written previously before, women look for these 3 things in a man. You know when a woman is missing something when they look for it outside their marriage. If sex sucks, she gets a hot, exhilarating lover. If the husband’s sex skill is enough to satisfy but she’s not really treated with respect, she’ll look for someone else who can give that. If the marriage lacks emotional intimacy, then she’ll be out there to fulfill her emotional needs. It’s usually one or more needs not met that drives a woman who goes outside of her marriage. For some, if it means getting 2 different men to meet her needs, she’ll just do it.
Below are the 6 type of guys that exist in women’s eyes.
- The Bad Ass
- Mr. Nice
- The Emotionally Unavailable Guy
- The Gay
- The Secret Lover
- The Married Man
She feels sexiest when with a bad ass. He is usually masculine and pretty skillful in bed. However, he’s a born bad ass playboy. He’s known to be a cheating nincompoop. Emotional connection does not exist in this kind of relationship, so does respect. The point of addiction is only sex. She will try to break his wild ways but it is useless. When the time comes, she’ll leave. Normal fights won’t do it. Only if the breakup involves a lot of emotions.
David DeAngelo, the dating guru, calls this type of guy the wussy. A wuss is someone defined as weak and unmanly. He is be able to make her feel appreciated and establish the emotional connection but he’s boring. He’s not manly enough to neither make her feel sexy nor turned on about sex. This type of relationship may eventually lead to marriage. He’d be a good fit for a family but he may not be enough to complete her sexual fantasies.
This type of guy is one of the closest that she may get to an ideal relationship. Not a wussy, not a cheating nincompoop. The muscles and good sex will fulfill the sexual part plus he is also a gentleman who makes her feel appreciated. However, he’s emotionally unavailable. There is no emotion, so she complains. One of the biggest complaints that women have. Everything is there, but shit, he’s not emotionally available. She will try her hardest to get him to open up which never happens. Women are built on emotions, they need it, which when the time comes she will leave.
There are also other types of men around like her gay friend. He makes her feel sexy and he genuinely makes her feel appreciated. They share a lot in common, but shit, he’s gay. In the end it is still not enough.
The secretly mysterious lover may never be part of any of her plans, but shit, the sex is addictive. Maybe once in a blue moon when she feels bored with the daily routine that has been going on for her, she’ll arrange to see him for one thing and one thing only. The fulfilling sex. Upon satisfaction, she leaves with the hope of finding her complete man.
The 6th type is the married man. There’s a saying that the perfect guys are all married. It simple means an unavailable man has higher value. Only the type of women that wants what she can’t have, will go for it. The sex is crazy good, she feels super sexy, the emotional connection is there BUT he will NEVER leave his wife. Though she doesn’t feel special, it is difficult for her to leave. The reason lies in her low self esteem.
The above were examples of men in her life. As you can see, one or more of her needs are not being met in each example. And by looking at what is missing, you can conclude what she has to have. =)
Let’s be real. When we look at relationships, we find that some are stronger and successful than others. In successful, both parties get what they need. In weaker relationships, one or more needs are not being met. This gives us a clue to what women need.
- Emotional Intimacy
- Ask her what’s wrong?
- Tell her to stop crying?
- Be afraid, imagine the worst?
- Get mad and demand that she stop making a scene?
- Get frustrated and stalk out?
- Never, ever strike her no matter what the provocation.
- Respect all women as equal. Question sexism.
- Contribute equally to household chores.
- Don’t expect her to serve you like a king. Respect her by not expecting her to wash, dry, fold or iron your clothes.
- Sexual Intimacy
Emotional intimacy depends primarily on trust, as well as the nature of the relationship and the culture in which it is observed. Women need to know that a man understands what she feels and is confident enough for her to share her emotions with him. This is the problem with men. Men tend to communicate intellectually and verbally in relationships. Women on the other hand, tend to relate on an emotional level.
Imagine this. You open the door to her room and see her crying. I’m pretty sure that most guys will do one of these 5.
Guess what? None of the above improves intimacy. Men usually do not want to ‘feel’ the problem. They just want to solve it. A better approach is to sit with her, hold her hand and ask, ‘Is there anything I can do?’ If she says no, accept that and let her know that you care and are there when she’s ready to talk. =)
Respect to women simply means
She grew up in the social programming that it is feminine and proper to be sexually submissive, and that it is unacceptable to be sexually forward. By being sexually submissive, she can enjoy sexuality without being to blame for it. She can be ‘slutty’ without being a ‘slut’. Thus, she can be fully sexually expressive by simply following the lead of her man.
Therefore, in order for her to have a fulfilling sexual life, she is going to need a man who can lead her, such that she can experience those things that make her feel the way she has always wanted to feel. So she needs a man that she respects, because she will only follow the lead of a man that she takes seriously.