Using Goats To Understand Politics Easily

politics

FEUDALISM : You have two goats. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM : You have two goats. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s goats. You have to take care of all of the goats. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM : You have two goats. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s goats. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM : You have two goats. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM : You have two goats. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM : You have two goats. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM : You have two goats. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP : You have two goats. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY : You have two goats. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY : You have two goats. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY : You have two goats. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing goats.

PURE ANARCHY : You have two goats. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the goats and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM : You have two goats. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM : You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take piano lessons.

Politics Explained
Steve Jackson’s version

Part 3 of 3 : How To Answer Online Dating Personals Wrongly

This is the final installment of the 3 triseries on learning from examples of bad online personal responses. If this your first time here, take a look at the first part here, and then the second part here.

7. The Sex Deprived

  • i dont think i would fit in too well; both you & the group sound like perfectly decent people- and im not sure if thats really what im looking for. i like a pretty sketchy scene, weird nightclubs, weirder people, all night parties, hard drugs, raves, mindless & casual sex (which seems to be mostly a myth, tho im still looking into it :) , petty criminals etc etc- your group sounds much more, ah, genteel (and saner, of course, i dont particulrly feel like trying to defend my tastes either).

    Petty criminals? Hard drugs? mindless sex? I think he wants to take drugs with shoplifters and screw them in the middle of nowhere.

  • Hi I’m a 28 year old prof. white male, 5’10, 175 lbs, athletic build, 4th degree black belt Karate instructor, my last girlfriend wasn’t into sex as much as I was – so I need to have some endurance sex!! I love to 69 all ways.. to have a woman wrap her legs around my neck as I grab both my forearms and burry my head deep inside her wetness! as she jerks my fat (1 3/4″ – 2″ diameter) manhood in her mouth! sorry about the sex introduction, but it’s been a little while and I let my imagination run wild.. :) I hope you don’t think I’m a bid jerk for writing that.. if you want to pursue meeting, I can send a pic if you interested and we can take it from there. I live in NJ, but would travel to see you..

    LOL. I think he was once a lion tamer who enjoyed sticking his head in the lion’s mouth.

  • I am a 36 y/o male…who would love to hear you scream my name while we make passionate love… watch the expression on your face while i orally satisfy every fantasy you ever imagined your pussy could handle…I would love to have the priveledge…of teaching you the joy of love making…if your curious please reply…

    LOL. Dude, take a trip down to Amsterdam.

8. The Low Self Esteemed

  • Please forgive me for intruding, but I was just wondering if I could humbly request the honor and privilege of corresponding with you, if you wouldn’t at all mind and can find the time. If this is not possible, I honestly and completely understand. Thank you so much for your gracious and patient consideration.

    Sounding like this will only scare people away.

  • Hello. Let me introduce myself. This is me in a nut shell. My name is Joe, I am 36, but look a lot younger, 1/4 Irish, 3/4 Italian, hazel eyes, light brown hair, 5’11”. I live in a house I own with my 2 cats and a dog. I have never been married and have no children, but do love kids. I am honest, sensitive, funny, down to earth and just a real nice guy. I enjoy a good conversation, long walks under the moonlight, dining out, movies, being pampered as well as doing the pampering. If I interest you let me know and I will give you my home number so we can have a real conversation. What do you have to lose? If you don’t like what you hear just hang up and no harm done. Lets talk.

    enjoy being pampered? take it slow dude. a good intro smeared.

9. Realistically Unrealistic

  • hi who r u

    u r very very very very very nice

    iwont to be firend plz

    agian ur very nice

    u es very very very qute, Iwont to pinch ur cheecks

  • You have a warm & most captivating smile. It rivals the sun in radiance…

    How do you feel about long talks about life?
    Saturday at a museum?
    International films?
    Cider & Potato skins?

    When good intros go bad. how is potato skin romantic?

10. Boringly Boring

  • are still available to have fun and good time, they said if for good and worse so I take that, let me know your status.

    it’s like each word costs money to type

  • would like very much to get to know you. Have pic so if you want to meet write back and lets get to know one another.

    ‘ok’ is the best reply.

Way Too Personal
Lorina’s adventures in the online dating scene