I believe that most of us have more or less been involved in relationships. Some might find it difficult because the method used is wrong. Let’s ponder upon this phrase ‘Opposites attract’. True? WRONG. Like attracts. To me, chasing after someone is like chasing after a chicken. Desperate enough, the chicken will even ‘fly’ to the rooftop.
The focus here should be on ATTRACTION. Attraction is a law of the universe. Let’s take the law of gravity as an example. If you jump of a building, it doesn’t matter if you are a good person or a bad person, you will fall and hit the ground. Same goes for attraction.
A guru once said to me that ‘attraction is not a choice’. If you are attracted to someone, you cannot choose not to be attracted to the person. No matter how much you cry, pound your fists on the wall or how much time you spend doing something else, you’re still attracted. It’s the same if you’re not attracted to the person. No matter what the person does, how many flowers, soft toys, chocolates, necklace, cards he sends you, you still won’t be attracted to him. Isn’t that right? =)
Here’s another example. A typical ‘Ah Lian’ (a Hokkien term for describing an uneducated Chinese girl) is someone who has her hair permed in several shades of brown dye, wears lots of blings, walks roughly, usually holds a cigarette in a hand and talks loudly. An ‘Ah Beng’ (boy) on the other hand drives the ugliest cars in the world, starts and ends sentences with ‘kanineh’ (a Hokkien bad word), smokes alot, wastes his time in video arcades and has a monkey face.
Now think of a normal guy who is pleasant, polite and who dresses well that wants to ask an Ah Lian out for a date. Can you imagine how different are their worlds? Of course she won’t be attracted to him. An Ah Lian and Ah Beng will always go well together because they are the same. If one day, the Ah Beng boyfriend changes his personality, starts dressing well, walking well surely Ah Lian will find him getting less cool and unattractive.
If you ever find a girl you like, notice her social style, appearance and morals. Compare them to yours. Look at habits and compare them. If there is an area that you need to improve, improve it. Keep up to standard. Learn to be as attractive as you can be. If there is no attraction in the first place, there won’t be any date.
So let’s try to be attractive, rather than working like mad to get a crush to like you. Remember, attraction is not a choice. =)
Meaning of Ah Beng
Meaning of Ah Lian