Celebrities Laughter

38 Quotes About Sex You Will Find Amusing

Angela Lambert

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.


A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.

Anticipation makes the hard-on longer.

I’m not a bad girl I’m just a good girl that does bad things!

I have learned that love can grow without sex, and that sex does not always lead to love.

It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Sex is like air; its not important unless you aren’t getting any.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last

Sex is more than an act of pleasure, its the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that its almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment youre a part of them.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Two words guys hate don’t and stop unless you put them together!

What you see is what you get so make your move. You wont regret!

When a guy goes to a hooker, hes not paying her for sex, hes paying her to leave.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, its $3.95 a minute.

Barbara Cartland

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

Bertrand Russell

Civilized people cannot fully satisfy their sexual instinct without love.

Billy Crystal

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Chinese Proverb

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

David Lodge

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.

Don Schrader

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.

Edwin Chapin

The trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance.

Frederike Ryder

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.

Isabel Allende

For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.

Les Dawson

My wife is a sex object every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Mae West

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Margaret Atwood

Nobody dies from lack of sex. Its lack of love we die from.

Rita Rudner

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Rodney Dangerfield

Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.

Sophia Loren

Sex appeal is fifty percent what youve got and fifty percent what people think youve got.

Steve Dublanica

Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Steve Martin

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

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